Learning how to co-parent your children with your ex after a divorce is in many ways like learning how to be a parent all over again — particularly for fathers who may find themselves spending more time alone with their kids than they did during the marriage. If you and your ex have a strained relationship after you’ve gone your separate ways, parenting can be even more challenging. Children are the ones who often pay the price when their divorced parents aren’t able to work together to be the best parents they can. Both physical and mental health issues, including anxiety, depression and substance abuse, increase in children of divorce. Some states, including Massachusetts and Connecticut, mandate that divorced couples take co-parenting classes. Now another New England state may be following suit, if a Rhode Island man is successful in his efforts. The Providence resident says he hopes to speak before the state’s General Assembly next month. He’d like them to form a commission that would study the advantages of requiring divorced parents with kids under 18 to participate in these classes. He’s gotten the support of a number of town managers, mayors and town council presidents. That state has some opportunities for parents who choose on their own to have counseling. However, there aren’t many. He’s hoping that private and public entities can work together to change that. He says he wants the state to provide a “robust marketplace of offerings to help divorced parents co-parent, communicate and collaborate

Many Massachusetts parents are facing their first holiday season since their break-up. If you already have a parenting plan in place that outlines how your children will divide their time between their parents, that’s helpful. However, if you haven’t yet started the divorce process, making a holiday schedule can be challenging — particularly if you and your ex aren’t on good terms. The most important thing to remember throughout this season is to minimize stress and uncertainty for your children. They likely already have enough of both. Focus on helping them enjoy the season. Organization is key. The sooner that you and your co-parent can get a plan in place (with the input of the kids, if they’re old enough), the more reassured they will be. Kids are flexible, but they want the security of knowing where they will be spending the holidays. Their friends will all be talking about their plans, and they’ll want to join in. Of course, making plans is just step one. It’s essential to stick to those plans unless unforeseen circumstances arise. Children need to be reassured early on that their parents will keep their word, show up to pick them up when they’re supposed to and return them as scheduled. It’s important to set reasonable expectations for your children. They may have a fantasy that their parents will be together for Christmas and maybe even reunite. If they’re going to be splitting time between homes, emphasize the positives (two Christmas trees, for example). Don’t