Being married to a narcissist can be an incredibly difficult relationship. This is more than just someone who likes to look in the mirror a lot. True narcissism is a personality disorder, and it afflicts more than 10 percent of all Americans, including many in Massachusetts. While the relationship itself is hard, trying to get a fair and equitable divorce from a narcissist can sometimes feel downright impossible.

The reason divorce is so difficult when it involves a narcissist is because this kind of personality disorder leaves the afflicted with little to no empathy for other people. This can be especially detrimental in a high-asset divorce, where stock options, real estate holdings and other expensive assets are at stake. While you may be willing to negotiate an equitable distribution, your partner may feel they deserve everything.

What can be even more challenging is the fact that, in general, narcissists are vengeful. They will dig up every bit of dirt they can on you to use in court, and they will often berate you in front of your children. After all, narcissists typically do not empathize with you or with the kids. Even after the divorce is settled, they will do everything in their power to make sure you “suffer for what you did.” Of course, these are generalizations about those with a narcissist personality disorder. Every person who is afflicted with this disorder may act differently.

One of the best ways to get through a high-asset divorce with a narcissist is to have a strong, experienced divorce attorney. They may be able to navigate around many common issues and make the divorce process a smoother one.

Source: New York Times, “Divorcing a Narcissist,” Tara Parker-Pope, August 24, 2015